Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 206 entitled “Very Good Relationships - Mutual Giving”
Tonight, at the table, we will continue to talk about how to take your relationship from good to very good. We will be discussing the 3rd component that all Very Good relationships have. It can't just be a one way relationship.
Pull up a seat at the table and join us!
Review the 1st 2 components
Christ at the Center
Not just a slogan
Does it HAVE to be God through Jesus and the Holy Spirit?
What about the universe or a counselor?
They are a 3rd party (kind of w/the universe)
They are objective
They have an outside perspective
What is special/unique to God in that role (if you believe)
He knows both of you
He (in a marriage) created you to be one
He is ever present and speaking to both of you
Open, Honest, and Vulnerable communication
Not discreet or clouded
Expressing a need or a hurt
Which leads us to and is dependant upon our 3rd component
What is a one way relationship?
One partner gives, the other takes
One person’s needs are met, the others are not
Is that better than a no way relationship? Maybe, but does it matter?
Can a relationship exist where it’s a one way or no way relationship?
It will not be very good
What is the opposite of Mutual Giving?
The selfish taking (or stealing) to meet needs
This not only doesn’t satiate
It robs the other person of the joy of giving
No needs being met
What does it look like?
The meeting of needs to love the other person
Putting the others needs AT LEAST with, if not healthily above, yours…trusting that they will meet yours
Why doesn’t this happen?
One person is more committed to the relationship
One person is manipulative
One person is incapable of giving
Emotionally impaired - previous hurts conditioning the person to not meet the others needs
One (or more) are ill equipped to give
What happens when there is no mutual giving?
Intimacy is lost
Both people suffer differently
The giving one’s needs aren’t met
The receiving one’s becomes an island
If it’s a no way relationship the two stop becoming one, the relationship ceases to exist
What are simple/practical ways of accomplishing this?
Identify (RNQ) what your and your spouse/child/friends needs are
Identify and communicate (clearly) how to meet those needs in tangible/identifiable ways.
Show appreciation that an attempt was made and even more if the need was met.