Very Good Relationships | Mutual Giving | Episode 206

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 206 entitled “Very Good Relationships - Mutual Giving”

Tonight, at the table, we will continue to talk about how to take your relationship from good to very good.  We will be discussing the 3rd component that all Very Good relationships have.  It can't just be a one way relationship.    

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Mutual Giving

1. Review the 1st 2 components

   1. Christ at the Center

      1. Not just a slogan

      2. Does it HAVE to be God through Jesus and the Holy Spirit?

         1. What about the universe or a counselor?

            1. They are a 3rd party (kind of w/the universe)

            2. They are objective

            3. They have an outside perspective

         2. What is special/unique to God in that role (if you believe)

            1. He knows both of you

            2. He (in a marriage) created you to be one

            3. He is ever present and speaking to both of you

   2. Open, Honest, and Vulnerable communication

      1. Not discreet or clouded

      2. Not manipulative

      3. Expressing a need or a hurt

   3. Which leads us to and is dependant upon our 3rd component

1. Mutual Giving

   1. What is a one way relationship?

      1. One partner gives, the other takes

      2. One person’s needs are met, the others are not

      3. Is that better than a no way relationship?  Maybe, but does it matter?

   2. Can a relationship exist where it’s a one way or no way relationship?  

      1. Yes

      2. It will not be very good

   3. What is the opposite of Mutual Giving?

      1. The selfish taking (or stealing) to meet needs

         1. This not only doesn’t satiate

         2. It robs the other person of the joy of giving

      2. No needs being met

   4. What does it look like?

      1. The meeting of needs to love the other person

      2. Putting the others needs AT LEAST with, if not healthily above, yours…trusting that they will meet yours

   5. Why doesn’t this happen?

      1. One person is more committed to the relationship

      2. One person is manipulative

      3. One person is incapable of giving

         1. Physically sick

         2. Emotionally impaired - previous hurts conditioning the person to not meet the others needs

      4. One (or more) are ill equipped to give

   6. What happens when there is no mutual giving?

      1. Intimacy is lost

      2. Both people suffer differently

         1. The giving one’s needs aren’t met

         2. The receiving one’s becomes an island

         3. If it’s a no way relationship the two stop becoming one, the relationship ceases to exist

   7. What are simple/practical ways of accomplishing this?

      1. Be OHV

      2. Identify (RNQ) what your and your spouse/child/friends needs are

      3. Identify and communicate (clearly) how to meet those needs in tangible/identifiable ways.

      4. Show appreciation that an attempt was made and even more if the need was met.