Support | Episode 195

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 195 is entitled,    “Support”. This week at The Table we will be discussing the emotional need of support.  This is not encouraging someone, it is actually helping someone.  How can you recognize this need?  What happens when we don't meet this need?  How can you help someone who has this need?  We'll be talking about this tonight

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Support

1. What is it?

   1. Oxford def - give assistance to, especially financially; enable to function or act. 

   2. LIR def - Coming alongside and gently helping with a problem or struggle; providing appropriate assistance.  

2. What causes it?

   1. Having it met constantly as a child

   2. NOT having it met as a child

3. How is it like Encouragement?  - It’s helping someone with a problem or struggle.

4. How is it not like Encouragement? - It is actually helping them and not verbally believing in them.

5. How is it met?

   1. Helping someone actually complete a task/problem or struggle

   2. Helping someone organize, strategize, plan out the completion of a project/situation

   3. Financially contributing to a project, cause, or person to complete a goal.

6. How is it not met?

   1. By encouraging them

   2. By demanding that it get done

   3. By minimizing the problem or struggle

   4. Begrudgingly assisting someone while not believing in them

   5. By completely taking over the problem or struggle (leaves them feeling inadequate/not believed in/worthy of helping) 

7. What does this look like with…

   1. Spouse 

      1. Assisting in relationship (friends/family) problems

      2. Making life decisions

      3. Chores/tasks/projects

   2. Children

      1. Chores

      2. Homework

      3. Life decisions

      4. Friends situations

   3. Friends

      1. Projects (fundraisers, employment type, volunteer things)

      2. Tasks (moving, household, rides (airport))

      3. Helping them work through relationship situations

8. What happens when it’s not met?

   1. Tasks get started but not completed

   2. Problems don’t ever get solved

   3. Procrastination is prevalent and common

   4. Lack of confidence and self worth ensues

9. How do we “steal” it when it is not met?

   1. Refusing to complete tasks

   2. Refusal to assist in others tasks

   3. Begging/nagging/crying for help

   4. Lashing out and pointing out of others faults/deficiencies

   5. Overly helping others complete tasks

   6. Withdrawal from a relationship

10. How can we meet one’s need for support? - help them…duh

11. When we do not receive  belonging, how are we hurt?

    1. Fear - anxiety that things will not get done

    2. Guilt - feeling like you haven’t done enough for others 

    3. Self Condemnation - believing that either one or one’s tasks are not worthy of help

    4. Anger - lashing out at the lack of help, refusal to engage or help others