Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 195 is entitled, “Support”. This week at The Table we will be discussing the emotional need of support. This is not encouraging someone, it is actually helping someone. How can you recognize this need? What happens when we don't meet this need? How can you help someone who has this need? We'll be talking about this tonight
Pull up a seat at the table and join us!
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What is it?
Oxford def - give assistance to, especially financially; enable to function or act.
LIR def - Coming alongside and gently helping with a problem or struggle; providing appropriate assistance.
What causes it?
Having it met constantly as a child
NOT having it met as a child
How is it like Encouragement? - It’s helping someone with a problem or struggle.
How is it not like Encouragement? - It is actually helping them and not verbally believing in them.
How is it met?
Helping someone actually complete a task/problem or struggle
Helping someone organize, strategize, plan out the completion of a project/situation
Financially contributing to a project, cause, or person to complete a goal.
How is it not met?
By encouraging them
By demanding that it get done
By minimizing the problem or struggle
Begrudgingly assisting someone while not believing in them
By completely taking over the problem or struggle (leaves them feeling inadequate/not believed in/worthy of helping)
What does this look like with…
Assisting in relationship (friends/family) problems
Making life decisions
Projects (fundraisers, employment type, volunteer things)
Tasks (moving, household, rides (airport))
Helping them work through relationship situations
What happens when it’s not met?
Tasks get started but not completed
Problems don’t ever get solved
Procrastination is prevalent and common
Lack of confidence and self worth ensues
How do we “steal” it when it is not met?
Refusing to complete tasks
Refusal to assist in others tasks
Begging/nagging/crying for help
Lashing out and pointing out of others faults/deficiencies
Overly helping others complete tasks
Withdrawal from a relationship
How can we meet one’s need for support? - help them…duh
When we do not receive belonging, how are we hurt?
Fear - anxiety that things will not get done
Guilt - feeling like you haven’t done enough for others
Self Condemnation - believing that either one or one’s tasks are not worthy of help
Anger - lashing out at the lack of help, refusal to engage or help others