How to Build Relational Intimacy
In this heartfelt episode of Lunchtime in Rome, the guys (minus Chris, who was melting into his couch after a rough day) dive deep into what it really takes to move a relationship from “good” to “great.” The core idea? Emotional and relational intimacy is the missing piece for most couples and friendships that feel stuck in “fine.”
They break it down into two big steps:
Heal from past hurts – both individual childhood wounds and old conflicts in the current relationship. The guys emphasize that most people grind through present-day issues while carrying unhealed baggage from years ago. Healing individually first softens your heart toward your partner (or friend) and makes current conflicts easier to handle as a team.
Practice the three ongoing components of intimacy:
Slow, team-oriented communication of needs (outside of conflict when possible)
Purposeful, specific attempts to meet each other’s emotional needs (give your partner the cheat-code instructions!)
Constant feedback, mutual encouragement, and lots of grace when efforts fall short
The conversation gets real about why so few people actually do this work: fear of reopening old wounds, apathy, detachment, or simply never having seen what a truly great relationship looks like. The guys stress that this isn’t a one-time fix—it’s a lifelong discipline of intentionality, vulnerability, and celebration when the other person tries (even if they miss the mark).
Mixed in with the heavy stuff, the guys keep it light with plenty of laughs—everything from the hilarious (and highly recommended) Internet Invitational golf series, unexpected cheesesteak-poutine masterpieces, built-in shelving victories, and the chaos of hosting 24 people for Thanksgiving gets covered too.
Key takeaway: Great relationships aren’t accidental. They’re built when two people decide to heal, communicate slowly and honestly, intentionally meet each other’s needs, and cheer each other on with tons of grace.
If you’re tired of “comfortably miserable” or just want to level-up from good to great, this episode is for you. Grab the full show wherever you get podcasts, take the emotional needs questionnaire at lunchtimeinrome.com, and let’s all work toward relationships that aren’t just good—they’re great.
Happy Thanksgiving from the table—see you in two weeks for episode 305! 🦃
