Lunchtime In Rome Podcast
Lunchtime in Rome
Destructive Patterns: Magnifying | Episode 244

Destructive Patterns: Magnifying | Episode 244

Show Notes

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 244 is entitled “Magnifying”.  Are you someone that always has the worst thing happen to you?  Are you in a relationship with someone who tends to make things much worse (in your, and maybe everyone’s opinion) than they really are?  We’re talking about what to do about that tonight at The Table.

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Making mountains out of molehills

  1. Description

    1. Exaggerates events until everything seems like a catastrophe. 

    2. May be volatile with anger, unmerciful with self-condemnation, or overwhelmed with fear or self pity.

    3. May be viewed as self-absorbed, preoccupied with one’s own crises, whiny and overly reactive.

  2. Background

    1. Often raised in an environment in which little things were blown out of proportion.

    2. Simple mistakes lead to a character attack;

    3. Discipline may have been excessive and out of proportion to the offense.

    4. Possibly a parent was preoccupied with need for belonging, security, or acceptance (manifested by fear, rejection, loneliness)  which contributed to their seeing catastrophes in every situation.

  3. Possible indicators of Magnifying - Frequent use of extreme words and phrases such as never, always, devastated, worst, ruined, terrible, horrible, awful, beyond repair, too late, all, nothing.

  4. Truth

    1. Molehills are not mountains. Not everything is a major event.

    2. A 50-cent event needs a 50-cent reaction.

    3. People sometimes treat us badly, but not always.

    4. We do some things wrong, but not everything.

    5. It is usually too soon to give up.

  5. Effect Upon a Relationship

    1. It is hard to live in an atmosphere where every little event is made to feel like a catastrophe.

    2. When difficult events do arise, there is little ability to cope.

    3. Emotional energy is sapped by trying to exist with “big” events all the time.

  6. Overcoming Magnifying

    1. Be alert for the trigger words always, every, no one, never, awful, worst, terrible, horrible.

    2. Analyze what causes this sort of response and then take your thoughts captive, replace them with more rational truthful thinking.

    3. Example: 

Example: you break a coffee mug.

Your reaction: “That’s it, my whole day is ruined!”

Consequences of that reaction: negative attitude that results in a bad day full of anger, depression, self blame.

Renewed Response: “These things happen. It’s just a mug that can easily be replaced. Let’s clean it up.”

  1. Scripture verses to “hold captive”

    1. Ephesians 4:2 With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love. - it is loving to not assume the worst about one’s intentions

    2. Ecc 7:9 9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools

    3. Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”