Be Prepared

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 180 is entitled, “Be prepared.” Are your relationships "good enough?" When is "good enough" not going to be good enough? Tonight at The Table we're going to be talking about why you should be prepared for tough times in your relationship(s).

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Be Prepared - The Importance of a Solid Relationship

• “They’ve changed”

  • Since they went to college

  • Since they started dating “x”

  • Since they started making money

  • Since they started partying

  • (other ways we’ve noticed people change)

• Money, substances, fame, don’t change you.  They make you more of what you are.

  • Your emotional needs don’t change as your circumstances change

  • Examples: From a need perspective

Need | Change | Reaction

• Security | Lotto | Hyper controlling, fear of loss, frugality

• Affection | Relationship | Smothering, demanding, jealous

• Attention | Fame | Jealousy, self-promotion, loss of self

• Belonging | Bad relationship | Abuse, self-deprecation

• Respect | Authority | Hyper controlling, abuse

Your hurts don’t change either.

Hurt | Change | Result

• Fear | Money | same as above

• Anger | Substance | Rage

• Guilt | Fame | Imposter

• Self Condemnation | Trauma | Hyper controlling, abuse

Which brings us to the focus on tonight’s talk

• Be prepared and have a solid relationship as trauma is coming

  • “When you say ‘I do’ you have no idea what you’re saying ‘I do’ to”

  • Examples

    • Brian & Lex - Financial, Lex’s mom, health?

    • Eric & Amy - Conception issues

    • Jay & Rachel - Trey 

  • Did your needs change during your trauma?

  • Did your hurts change during your trauma?

  • My (delicate) examples of the couples I’m dealing with right now

    • Good couples with a “model” marriage

    • Their hurts/needs are magnified during this time/trauma

    • They’re playing “catch up” 

• Good enough is only good enough while things are fine

  • When tough times hit, the needs don’t go away and the hurts multiply

  • If you survive the trauma, you won’t be better

  • You deserve a great intimate relationship beyond wanting to survive trauma