Bad Patterns in Relationships Part 1 | Episode 154

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 154 entitled “Bad Patterns in Relationships.” We all fall into bad patterns in our relationships. Why does that happen? What is really behind it all? How can we possibly break that destructive cycle? Is there hope? Pull up a chair at the table and join us! Bad Patterns What are they? Cyclical conflict in a relationship Having the same fight over different details What are their characteristics? Every decision/conflict is handled the same way and it is not productive Every major conflict is about the same “thing” with different causes for the incident What causes it? General - conflict between where hurts go Anger/Guilt Anger/Self Condemnation Fear/Guilt Fear/Self Condemnation Anger & Fear look outward, Guilt & Self Condemnation inward’ Procedural Conflict between emotional needs Opposite “need” of needs in general Respect vs. Security Affection vs. Security/Respect Encouragement vs. Support Attention vs. Acceptance Not being open, honest and vulnerable Not communicating the need - open Stealing the need - honest Being afraid (perhaps rightfully so) that the need won’t be met - vulnerable Not mutually giving - one or both of the people are not loving the other by meeting an OHV communicated need. Unresolved Hurts Past hurts outside of a relationship that have not been comforted Past hurts within a relationship that have not been confessed, understood and forgiven Inhibits intimacy which prohibits the meeting of other needs Reduces the impact of other needs being met Clouds or diminishes an altruistic attempt to meet a need