Appreciation | Episode 158

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome.  Tonight is episode 158 entitled “Appreciation.”  Appreciation seems like a simple emotional need but it can really cause problems in a relationship when one needs it and the other does not.  Where is it needed?  How is it met?  What happens when it's not met?  We'll be taking a look at all things appreciation at The Table this evening.   Appreciation What is it? - Expressing thanks, praise or commendation. Recognizing accomplishment or effort particularly for what someone does. What causes it? Having it met constantly as a child NOT having it met as a child Where is it needed? For gifts and favors For meaningful conversations/relational interactions For who you are as a person Your relationship to others (similar to belonging) Your characteristics Your talents/hobbies/abilities For everyday chores responsibilities How is it met? Verbal expressions Written expressions - notes, cards, texts. Public expressions - social media, social gatherings, family events How is it not met/how are we hurt by not receiving it? Not giving it Giving it to others How do we “steal” it when it is not met? Giving it when we want it. Asking about that for which we would like to be appreciated Stopping doing the things for which we’d like to be appreciated Stopping doing other things for other people Drawing attention to our hurt Slamming drawers, acting out Detaching from others Verbal sighs/groans, physical posture/facial expressions Getting the need met elsewhere When we do not receive appreciation, how are we hurt? Fear  - almost manic attempt to do things better Guilt Believing that you haven’t done enough to get appreciation Believing that you haven’t appreciated others enough Self Condemnation The feeling that one’s actions are not worth appreciating The feeling that one’s self is not worthy of appreciation Anger Not doing that which you wanted appreciation Not meeting others needs Spending time getting it met elsewhere