Appreciate & Request | Episode 239

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 239 is entitled “Appreciate and Request”. We all want better relationships. We introduced a level up challenge a few weeks ago. Maybe there’s a simpler way. That’s what we’re talking about tonight!

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Level Up Challenge…an alternative

1. Spending time appreciating

   1. List 6 areas where you appreciate the other person

   2. Be specific. looking particularly for things you may have come to take for granted

   3. Examples

      1. I’m grateful for your diligence as a provider for our family.

      2. I’m thankful for your faithfulness and loyalty as a wife.

      3. I’m thankful for the way you show you care with words and touch.

      4. I appreciate your sensitivity to others feelings

2. Request your needs to be met

   1. Things you might like to see concerning improvements and changes in this relationship

   2. Be specific and positive as you look for major items of importance to you

   3. Examples

      1. I’m hoping you can become more comfortable initiating affection.

      2. I’d like to see all cursing and abusive language stop.

      3. I wish we would not criticize one another in front of others—particularly our children.

      4. I’d hope that you might speak respectfully to those in authority.

3. Share your lists with one another

   1. Be genuine, showing interest, emotion, and good eye contact, dedicated, private, and unrushed time alone

   2. Be positive, encouraging, and looking to the future with hope.

   3. Examples

      1. It would be important to me if

      2. It would mean a lot to me if.

      3. I’m looking forward to the time when

   4. Benefits

      1. Sharing your requests helps avoid the destructive cycle of:

         1. Having expectations and anticipations (i.e. requests) of another person.

         2. Not communicating these requests.

         3. But, becoming hurt or angry when these expectations aren’t met! This isn’t fair to either of the parties.

      2. Exchange lists if it will help you remember some of your partner’s “Requests”

4. Practice Appreciation

   1. Make no further mention of the “Requests” during the next month. (To do so would be to approach “nagging” and actually hinder progress.)

   2. Make consistent effort to share praise for your “Appreciation” List plus other appreciation that come to mind.

   3. Look for opportunities to share praise and appreciation

      1. Privately with one another during daily conversations and private times

      2. Publicly when in the company of others. like family members, children, or friends

      3.  In writing with special notes, cards, or gifts