Why Don’t Our Neighbors Like Us? (And Other Questions from Episode 340)
Welcome back to the table. Episode 340 of Lunchtime in Rome started with a simple question and wandered through puppy accidents, Halloween candy shortages, funeral reflections, AI fatigue, and a Facebook prompt that somehow only attracted one public answer and a thoughtful private text. It was one of those nights that felt both very ordinary and heavier than usual.
The Halloween That Actually Happened
Chris made it in (eventually). Mary Lynn did not—she was under the weather and wisely stayed home so she wouldn’t pass anything along. The week had been the usual mix of tired: softball winding down, parent-teacher conferences, and the general sense that “we’re in the middle of it.”
Then came the Halloween story. The group went over to Chris’s neighborhood for trick-or-treating and tangy chili. Maggie had a great time. Houses were decorated. There were kids everywhere. They ran out of candy and finished the night by handing out cans of Coke. Several neighbors stopped by to introduce themselves after years of living nearby and mostly not knowing each other. The fire pit was going. The weather cooperated. For a few hours it felt like the version of the neighborhood people keep saying used to exist.
The night ended less picturesquely. Toby the puppy had an accident in the crate on the way home—loose stuff, some on the carpet, and a fair amount on his face. The cleanup involved a hose, disinfectant, and a shower. At roughly 55–60 pounds, he is not a small project. Halloween night concluded with a large, clumsy puppy in the shower. These things happen. They also tend to happen at the exact moment everyone is finally home and ready to be done.
The Heavier Stuff
The conversation turned, as it sometimes does, to the weight of the week. There were funerals. There was a recent local tragedy in the Mount Lebanon area that hit close to several people in the broader circle. Midterms had just happened. The general sense was that a lot of people are carrying more than usual, and that the usual tools for processing it (social media, constant news, etc.) are not especially helpful.
Jay talked about officiating two funerals in a short span. One was a celebration of life for a man who had lived well; the other was more difficult. He described the particular song choice for the first service (“How Great Thou Art”) that ran long and escalated in ways he had not fully anticipated when screening it. He also described the second service as one of the harder ones he has done—navigating a room where the spiritual ground was uncertain. Both were reminders that the job often involves standing in rooms where people are at the edge of what they can handle.
There was also a Young Life staff meeting that tested patience, a lunch with Dan Bender that produced the outline of a book idea (“I’ve Met You Before”—the recurring characters who show up in every church), and a short Bible reading from Exodus about not going up to the altar on steps “or your private parts may be exposed.” The table took that one in the spirit in which it was offered.
Optimistic or Pessimistic?
Earlier in the week, a question went up on Facebook: what are you optimistic or pessimistic about right now? It could be specific, general, about the world, or just about yourself. The public response was thin. One person shared good health news and optimism about upcoming tests. Dan Leppold texted a longer answer that landed well: plan for the worst, hope for the best, and remember that attitude is one of the few things actually under your control. He also made plans to visit a 91-year-old aunt, noted that Jesus was an awesome guy, and observed that if the world ends for humans, the trees will probably be fine.
Eric’s answer was more mixed. He is tired of the AI conversation at work—not opposed to the technology, and in fact using it productively, but exhausted by the endless vendor meetings, the near-identical pitches, and the pressure to “prepare for the AI generation” while also running toward Black Friday and Cyber Monday. He is also uneasy about what happens when tools that can make motivated people more effective also make unmotivated people less capable. The concern is less about the tools themselves and more about the habits and educational expectations that form around them. Chris, by contrast, is feeling better than expected this far into the school year. Energy is still reasonably high, the first nine weeks went well, and the usual seasonal slide has not fully arrived. That counted as genuine good news at the table.
Healthy Snacks, Unhealthy Opinions
The second Facebook question—what’s your favorite healthy snack?—produced more replies. Popcorn appeared more than once (with the usual debates about butter and salt). Green grapes with a good snap got support. Reese’s Cups were defended on protein grounds. Berries, apple crisps, cashews, Greek yogurt with strawberries, hummus, and roasted chickpeas all made the list. A couple of answers were flagged by Facebook as potentially offensive; the table read them anyway. There was also extended discussion of homemade corn tortillas (a clear upgrade over store-bought), a succotash experiment that did not go entirely as planned, and the well-known difficulty of making Rachel a sandwich.
A Week Like This One
The episode did not resolve the opening question about neighbors. It did, however, note that a few of them finally walked over and said hello on a night when everyone was outside and the weather was decent. That is not a full answer, but it is something.
If you listened, you already know the tone: tired, funny in places, serious in others, and not especially interested in performing either optimism or despair. The midterms are over. The funerals have been held. The puppy has been washed. The AI meetings continue. Next week is Episode 341. Pull up a seat if you want to hear how the week went.
