Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 185 is entitled, “Affirmation”. Does anyone in your life lift you up? Is there anyone that reminds you of who you are (in a good way)? When you doubt your abilities, who comes to mind when you remember to believe in yourself? We’re talking about affirmation tonight at The Table.
Pull up a seat at the table and join us!
Affirmation
Definition
Most dictionary definition’s focus on encouragement and support
At The Table it is telling/reminding one of their positive attributes, characteristics and talents.
Purpose
Proactively
Encourages them to achieve more
Builds esteem and confidence
Reactively
Keeps a downward spiral from continuing
Stymies depression
Combats negative “voices” and attacks (both external and internal)
Types
Preventative/Constructive - affirmation given ahead of conflict or trauma
Builds up the person to withstand conflict (internal or external)
Gives person the tools to deal with trauma themselves
Provides a general improvement to any given person
Reactive/Restorative
Battles alongside someone in trauma/attack
Gives the person a more accurate view of themselves
Keeps a person from adding fuel to an internal or external fire - this fire may be warranted (they may be attacked for something they’ve actually done but spiraling makes it worse and is not warranted
This is helpful for the individual in trauma
This is helpful for the possibility of reconciliation
Personal
This is for people that you know and have a relationship with
This should be a part of every relationship that you are in
It is not limited to close relationships
However, the closer to you that they are the more affirmation you should be giving them
Public/random
This can be people anywhere
Some examples would be
Random one off “chance” encounters
This can be people that you begin to have some modicum of a relationship with
Emotional Needs that this meets
Encouragement - by the very definition
Respect - especially given one’s job, skill, or achievements
Appreciation - showing that you value their talent/trait/characteristics and effort
Belonging - within any relationship it shows that you value them
Affection - it shows that you care for the person and have taken time for them
Examples
Verbal - spoken messages of affirmation
Pros
Personal, they will remember when and where you said it
The tone of your voice can add impact and power
This will eliminate a lot of confusion and be the most accurate representation of your intent
Cons
Greater potential to be forgotten over time
Can be too much for a shy and lacking in confidence person
Can lead to a back and forth that allows for awkward or counterproductive situations
You get frustrated with them not accepting it
They either feel pressured to receive it or don’t receive it in a way that meets your expectation
Written
Pros
Permanent -assuming that they don't’ throw it away
Can be looked at time and time again
Is a visible reminder of the affirmation given
Can be received on their terms in their time allowing for greater impact
Cons
Not as personal
Can be completely ignored
Could be confused
Literal Examples
Verbal
Sit down, face to face, serious
Phone call in passing or intentional
“Drive by” quick words
Written
Affirmation Bomb
Affirmation Box
Affirmation Notes
Posted affirmation reminders
Input from the table - Amy Rayman, Kim - 5 years every Tuesday 2 things that lift them up
Takes the time
Remind her that she's a person
Leads with affirmation then includes negative which validates the positives
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